Sunday, November 9, 2008

Help from a few friends ...

Because I certainly didn't expect Sal's reaction the design board that I put so much thought and effort into, nor did I ever intend to photograph it - I've asked some of my friends in Hollywood to help me out with this recounting:

Posh Spice/Victoria Beckham

"Oh, um - Artie, this is - um, well - um ... I just, I don't like muted colors. I was thinking more along the lines of that neon aqua color over there!"
Ok - so obviously - he wasn't impressed with the color palate. When I had spoken with him, he showed me a vase in a shade of very pale sage. He specifically said, "I like these colors, these tones." When I picked some of the most delightful dusty blues and greens (some of which matched that vase perfectly) he gives me the face that Victoria so wonderfully recreated (Thanks Vicky!) and points to an awful shade of neon turquoise that he called sky blue. Perhaps in a Willy Wonka dream the sky is neon, but in my world - (not the land of make believe) - it's the beautiful colors which I gave him.

Moving on ...

Britney Spears

"I don't like Burlap, it attracts dog hair - and I don't want to clean!!"

Yes, it's true for all of you who didn't know - loose woven fabrics, especially those with course texture like burlap, are familiar to dog hair and dust. Sheesh, even your everyday cotton variety will catch a hair or four. But, in the world of neon turquoise skies, no one cleans - and textured curtains don't collect dust or dog hair.

(Thanks Brit, great job!)

Celine Dion

"But you said that I could have wallpaper!"

I suggested going to the paint store, since obviously the colors I chose weren't up to par with Sal's sense of what the room was supposed to be. We spent an hour picking the perfect shades of blue and green, when he says to me "I want this - but in a wallpaper! Where's the wallpaper?"
At this point, I'm losing my cool - about to have a melt down, wondering why I just spent an hour talking him out of every neon color which exists only in a fairytale. I gently say, "Sal - your budget doesn't allow for wallpaper hanging. It's expensive, and this isn't an amateur job - you're going to have to hire someone who knows what they're doing."
Of course, after another 20-minutes of discussing costs, we end up at the wallpaper store where, I am shown three metallic wallpapers, all with an over sized damask, in shades of mauve, burgundy and peach. At that point, I said, "Sal - perhaps you should reconsider your decorator. I'm just not ready to finish a room that has that wallpaper. It's not my taste - it's not a lot of people's taste."

Cameron Diaz

"Are you saying I don't have taste!? I have taste! I'm from Miami!"

At that point, I graciously bowed out. In the past, I've worked with people who were completely faithful in my decisions, and in return, completely happy with the end product. They were honest and content, and then let go of the wheel. Not only do I not have the wheel on this project, I'm being dragged alone wondering why I don't just let go.

More to follow in the coming days, but for now - we'll place this on the back burner. No worries though, I've got lots in store for the blog! Til next time ...